Can A Relationship Argument Be Healthy?

Well into my 40′s, I’ve had my fill a relationship argument or two and let me tell you, they weren’t a-l-l bad.  Okay, wisdom does say, “All is well that ends well” but it does start you as a couple to talking more about your true feeling.

Listen intently and take notes to the points that are being made during the argument, be sure to ask the uncomfortable questions that will get your more clarity.  If done correctly there will be a relationship break through just over this horizon so don’t be mean or rude but lovingly honest.

Here are some of the benefits I found in successfully tackling a relationship argument head on…

Arguing Makes A Relationship Stronger

You argue over the things you feel strongly about, so by successful communicating the importance of the issue to your mate, you will gain a closer bond that’s held together by this understanding.  So my advice to you would be to never waste a relationship argument, you should use them to build a stronger relationship base on true discussion and the understanding you get from arguing.

A Relationship Argument Allows The Release of Hidden Anger

You’ve take the relationship to the next level and you are now living together because you can no long stand to be apart.  That decision to be living together does come with consequences…you are together all the time now and you start to notice little things you never noticed before that annoy you.  Discuss them quickly before they pile up and explode in one big mess.

As a final thought, makeup sex after a relationship argument is the bomb, and here is why… you have a greater understanding of the true person you are getting to know and love so you intimacy level is that much deeper.

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In fact it’s a common occurrence among all age groups and maybe carried on from adolescence behavior to adulthood. Studies show reasons for cheating range from gender differences to attachment styles not to mention, social skills. Although it is been hard to establish the real purposes behind infidelity in a relationship, cheating is an ever present problem in many physical and monogamous relationships. It is not only classified in terms of marital relationships, but in dating relationships as well. Early studies suggest  that it may stem from misinformed ideals that are formed in late adolescence that are carried into dating, adulthood and marriage.

This type of betrayal is defined as a violation of trust and it can cause the other party to view a relationships in a dimmer light. Now the act of cheating is consider to be a form of sexual betrayal, which is viewed as heavy petting or sexual intercourse with anyone other than your partner. As a side note…experimental sex with the same sex is a relationship catastrophe and it’s still cheating!

So if you are now college-aged and you still would not end a relationship if your partner cheated…then you are exhibiting signs of low self esteem. Because the chance of the relationship ending due to unfaithfulness is greatly increased when the persons in the relationship are in love, or if the partner who was cheated on has been physically or sexually abused in the past. Other factors include marriage. Although most married couples would not automatically end their relationship over a cheating spouse. Marriage demands commitment and typically, married couples have been together longer than a dating or cohabiting couple, so they have invested more into the relationship and have more at stake should a relationship separate.

Due to the permanent nature of marriage, children and finances being two examples, married people have more to think about when it comes to deciding what may be a good reason to get a divorce. Investments are categorized in terms of material and non-material. Investments can range from buying dinner for someone to being engaged, even married. Predictions about whether couples would stay together once infidelity occurred depended upon the nature and the extent of what was invested into the relationship. Couples are more likely to stay together when more was invested into the relationship, when a couple has more to lose, the decision of whether to leave an unfaithful partner becomes more difficult.

The difference between male and female are other factors that may influence a person’s election to end a relationship due to straying outside of the partnership.

Infidelity is the relationship between gender and infidelity is perhaps the most widely known. Take for instance sexual evolution and how it affects a person’s perception of cheating in a relationship. Evolution and gender differences refer to the gender biases that are swaying our ideals of infidelity. These biases have been part of many societies since the beginning of man. Males in general were more acceptance of infidelity. This number is greater for physical infidelity than for emotional infidelity. Women are less acceptance of cheating, especially when it is emotional in nature.

Since cheating has been found to be such a large problem in a relationship with today’s modern world, this post seemed relevant and useful. Don’t forget monogamy is labeled as being in a physical relationship with only one person at a time, this is mutual. It seemed apparent that one who would commit partner betrayal would be more permissive of infidelity, among college freshmen, students who have been unfaithful to a partner while in a monogamous relationship are more likely to be permissive of cheating in a monogamous relationship than are those who have not been unfaithful.

Video resources you’ll find helpful…

Can A Habitual Cheater Truly Change His Ways?/ Black Marriage/ B Intentional/ Black Love

Cheating is not a new phenomena….it’s been happening for a long time by both men and women. In nearly every situation when cheating occurs….someone almost always gets hurt whether the couple is married or not.. How do you deal with the pain that …

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A Quick Glance at Cheating in Relationships.

Cheating in relationships…seemingly accepted by main stream media.  To be glorified and then given a million dollar contract for a reality show.  Really…

It has become obvious to the television stations that we will undoubtedly spend hours out of our day setting at the edge of our seat, watch the surprising pain of a unsuspecting lover finding their loved one, betraying them and have it broadcasted on live tv. Ouch…

Cheating in relationships can also have a deadly affect .

Do you remember some years ago on the Jerry Springer Show, when a young man willing took his own life, due to public pain and humiliation of live tv?

No laughing matter…

You see, the ones who don’t killing themselves, usually have major relational trust issues, leaving them with self destructing tendency to over react and jump to wrong conclusions… all the ingredients for a different type of deadly ending -

maybe YOUR ending!

My thoughts on cheating in relationships is if someone is so unhappy that they feel the need to go outside the relationship to gain meaningless satisfaction from another, for whatever it is they feel is lacking then they should be upfront with their mate and just break off the relationship.

At the end of the day lays a bigger issue. Bigger than actual cheating in relationships…

…A.I.D.S – you see, true reality says, “Everyone that cheats is not cheating with the opposite sex!”

You think about that…

Be careful…I Love You!

Here are some resource videos from Youtube about Cheating in Relationships:

Myths About Why People Cheat in Relationships

LuvBuzd 067: When it comes to cheating, everyone has an opinion. Unfortunately, many of those opinions are based on myths instead of truth. Today we look at some of those myths. LuvBuzd.TV

Relationships – Physical vs. Emotional Cheating Part 1

www.WatchMojo.com presents… Some advice on relationships and the difference between physical cheating and emotional cheating.

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Relationship Articles » Blog Archive » Things that Men Find Attractive

Number four on our list of questions that women ask about men and relationships has to do with the female qualities or attributes that are the most attractive to men. While certainly not to suggest that all men see this …

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http://www.relationship-articles.info/things-that-men-find-attractive/

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Over the years I’ve noticed a repetitive pattern in female to female communications about men and relationships. The “advice” that some women share is negative, self-defeating, and more conducive to eliminating female …

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http://survivingdating.com/seven-dumb-things-women-tell-each-other-about-men-and-relationships

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A relationship can be doomed from the moment you frantic say…hello!

I mean – really… with the speed in which relationships are breaking up
you’d have to wonder- what was missing?

Often times it’s silent communication that’s the cooperate. Those things
that you did not see or say – speaks the  loudest volumes. The caring too much over mold hills
and not caring enough when it could really do some good.

Another missed opportunity to show love instead of the old, “you know I love you, right?”

Wouldn’t it be great if we’d open our eyes and plant the flowers and the trees
right here
in the field that we are standing!

I know…I know we’ve all heard it before but it stands repeating – the grass always looks
greener on the other side of the fence!

Have you stopped to wonder why…

maybe the mate of the grass next door(male or female) takes
the time to water and nurture their relationship lawn…

Isn’t it worth trying to find out how to make a relationship grow into a productive and loving marriage?

After all this is the basic building blocks of a family, and God knows we need more of those to break this cycle of moral bankruptcy in the American home and in our children.

But before we can talk about having a strong, moral family…we must dive in and discover ways that will…

…affect the survival of a relationship – that undoubtedly needs your attention.

So let’s began…

A Relationship Survival Tip

It starts with the Selection Of your mate – did you exercise your right to choose or were you chosen and just went alone with it?

I know it can be hard to take responsibility for you ending up on the opposite side of the fence then where
you desire to be – but decisions are being made every second of the day… you either make them or
follow the decisions that someone else had to make for you.

You must choose – right now – to be in a relationship with the person you are with or be making plans to be someplace else! Learning to love ourselves first – so others will see that
you don’t need anyone else to make you happy or complete – and they would feel proud if…you let them love you!

See how that works?

Next pit fall that I see is…

Lack of Communication – being the number 2 reason for break ups only next to finances.

A closer look would reveal that if you could
effectively communicate your thoughts and feeling – money woes would be at least manageable.

So agree that you can – disagree! You are an important member of this relationship and your opinion does matters…

that’s love (period)

A feeling of importance…

Isn’t that what we all want – what do we argue and fight for – to be made important enough to
consider “Our feelings”- before making a selfish decision…

right? Which brings me to pitfall No.3 -

Over Inflated Expectations – We inspect too much, the negative we expect… meaning we look for similar traits in our new relationship that you associate as a “Negative Trait” in our present mate…

…you say to yourself – “I see where this is going, you are going to hurt and mistreat me like ____ did!”

Time out for all that

the quickest way to loose in a relationship is to silently say to your new mate,”you
remind me of my (jeep) ex.”

Those expectations can only be received in a negative light.

Why not use your expectations in a positive way…to make ourselves better.

Maintaining a relationships that is meaningful and complete with love and respect can some times be difficult like an ongoing project without any defined plan or completion date… but well worth the effort.

My advice – communicate- ask questions before you decide on having a relationship and continue to ask after the love affair has blossomed!

Listen- a relationship takes work and cultivation so work and cultivate your own and not plant weeds in some one else!

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